recovering

Well, I'm not 100% but I'm definitely on the way there. I have kept up with the neti pot and also had a lot of soup and tea.

As the last few posts have indicated, I'm trying to recapture the magic I had going on last semester with the healthy behaviors. Today I FINALLY managed to get up earlier than 8 am, for the first time in probably 3 months. I leave for Arizona tomorrow and have to catch a shuttle to the airport at 6:45, so I had to reassure myself that I'm physically capable of getting up that early. But this is promising - next week when I get back, 6 am is going to be my wake-up time every day, which also probably means that 10 pm is going to be my bed time. But I MUST get back into the gym to do cardio intervals and weight lifting. These are so important and I haven't done them in ages.

So, the priority for the next 24 hours leading up to the AZ trip is to stay healthy and get packed, and to set myself up for success when I get back. I'm bringing my running gear and a lot of healthy foods with me, and I intend to get myself out of the hotel as much as possible to walk around, get sun and feel good.

today:
m1: kashi go-lean, blueberries
m2: almonds, pear
m3: hummus & veg sandwich, carrots
m4: protein shake
m5: ?
m6: ?

sick sick sick

I've been ignoring this blog, and ignoring most of my fitness-related blogs that I usually read, as I've been plodding along not working out and eating only so-so. But now at least I sort of have a good excuse, I am sick.

I missed my long run yesterday because of this gross cold/sinus/cough/gross thing, and then of course today I was even worse so it just ain't happening this weekend. But I went out today and bought: several kinds of tea, lentil soup mix, emergen-c, and a neti pot. I've been meaning to get a neti pot for ages, since I first heard from friends that it was the greatest thing ever. I have now tried it once and I'm not sure it's the greatest ever, but I didn't drown and my head does feel a bit less clogged. Though the water was super-salty, which I don't totally get. My skin feels a bit puffy now and I think it's the salt. But the gallons of tea and water that I'm mainlining should hopefully help out. I'm going to keep doing it until I leave for AZ on Wednesday and maybe even take that and my special sea salt along for the trip.

Wednesday thru Sunday I'll be in Arizona competing in an appellate advocacy competition that centers around Native American legal issues, which I'm super stoked for. I've been practicing for a month so I feel pretty ready to take on all these other law students from around the country. And I'm bringing all my running gear of course, and I vow to get in at least one, but ideally more like three delightful warm weather runs around the Arizona State campus and the little city of Tempe where I'm staying. And I'm also bringing the old swimsuit since our hotel has an outdoor (heated) pool. So, yay to convenient fitness stuff. I'm also bringing some of those high-protein clif bars and maybe some protein shake mix because I have no clue what the vegan options will be at the competition. Most of the time I'll be on my own and I think the southwest and especially this college town will be pretty veg-friendly, so I'm not too worried. I'm excited about good Mexican food, which is tough to come by around here.

So, things are slow going these days. I've been seeing better numbers on my weigh-ins, but still not great - I'm still around 15 lb heavier than my lowest last semester, which is disheartening. When I get back from AZ, I'm going back on the exact menu I was doing last semester and I'm not going to let dating or school or any of this bologna get me off track.

A little less slow

So, I had a really, like, incredibly amazing run today. Seriously. Let me set this up, to be remembered for the ages. I was in a crappy mood when I woke up and realized that I had slept in AGAIN despite having gone to bed reasonably early last night, which meant that I wouldn't have a lot of time to get ready for running and that AGAIN I probably wouldn't get homework done, blah. But I put on my running clothes, which I laid out last night in anticipation of this very internal conflict. Did I mention my running partner is out of town for the weekend?

Anyway, so I moped around and started convincing myself not to go, because I had a lunch date at 1:30 and it was already getting close to 11:30, when my plan had been to run at 11. But I wasn't going to change out of those clothes, so I made up my mind to do 4 miles - same as last week, a short one, but at least I was going to get out there. When I got outside I thought about turning back because it was raining and I was a little worried that either I would freeze or that I'd slip and fall and not have the old running partner to call an ambulance to haul me away. But it wasn't raining that hard, and it wasn't that cold, and thankfully it stayed that way.

I made it to my starting point in the park at 12:12 pm, started running. I said to myself, if I keep up a 12 min/mile pace, I will be back here at 12:50 and make it home in time to shower before my date. Well, clearly I am no mathematical genius, since that is actually 38 mins, not 48. So when I had about 3/4 of a mile to go, I got kind of bummed out to realize that I wasn't quite going to make it. I only had like 3 mins left and I'm obviously not running 3/4 of a mile in 3 mins. I started to feel sad about how I would never beat my road race time from December when I had a chest cold and hadn't run over a mile in like 4 months.

But oh, hallelujah. In fact I had been running for 10 mins less than I thought. So I picked up the pace a bit, and I got this huge retarded grin on my face. A good song came on my ipod shuffle. I kept going. And then just before I was going to round the corner for the last short leg, the Dropkick Murphys song "Tessie" came on. This is the best kind of runners high there is - on track for a new personal best, feeling on top of the damn world, and then a big time Boston pride song comes on for the very end of my amazing run. You better believe I sprinted that mofo, probably a little less than a quarter mile. With a huge-ass grin, that evoked some smiles and laughs from a few tourists who were walking around the park.

43 mins for 4 miles. It's still damn slow, but it's 2:30 faster than my December race time, and that was with a huge crowd encouraging me along. I cannot wait to go run another 4 mile race and see how much faster I can go. It made me realize that for all that it helps me, it's possible that running with a partner may be slowing me down. I think we both could be going faster but it's scary to try and push it sometimes. With music on, you don't really feel it as much, but without music, and with trying to have a conversation during a 4-6 mile run, often you feel every twinge. But with this one under my belt, maybe next week I'll be ready to push us to pick up the pace.

ok, let's get this show on the road here

Well, it is officially February - in fact, February is officially already flying by. And I officially missed my training run today, which is annoying, especially since during the time I was skipping my run to do work on my law journal stuff, I was totally not doing any work.

But, you know what they say about tomorrow being another day. I've pretty much already decided not to go to my morning class (not a great decision, but I get at least a couple freebies and I've made it every time so far). So, that's out of the way, but I have a crapload of other stuff to do but on the plus side I did a zillion loads of laundry today so I have workout clothes (and other clothes suitable for leaving the house, plus socks, yay).

So, plan for tomorrow: get up and do a bit of homeworky stuff, hit the gym and bust out 3 miles or so on the treadmill, figure out where a Catholic church is located and go get ashed up, go to lunchtime panel about the election, a bit more homework, class, oral argument practice, and then home at 6 to (yay) do more homework/law journal editing stuff and walk around without pants because my roommate is going out of town.

Oh, but that is the other thing I wanted to document - this weekend I'll be doing my long run solo, since the roommate's girlfriend is my training partner and she's headed out of town with him. I have yet to figure out my exact route but I'm scheduled for 7 miles, and I'm going to just figure out a combination of my Central Park routes that comes out to about that much. Jeeeepers. Never in my life did I ever think I'd be doing such a crazy thing, especially not in February north of the Mason Dixon line. Love it.

Don't Bring Me Down, Bruce

Haven't posted here for a while, because I've been wallowing in self-pity. Well, not exactly - more like wallowing in my unhealthy lifestyle.

Here is the challenge these days: trying to stay on top of school work (ha - not happening) and get in at least a couple of weekday runs every week (yeah right) and also be out dating (this is happening, and it's involving a lot of drinking, late nights and eating).

My major success has been keeping up with long Saturday runs, because I have an awesome running partner and I live really nearby to beautiful Central Park. It is so invigorating to jog by all these awesome landmarks and climb to the top of steep hills and imagine that I'm doing it surrounded by green cliffs and geysers and hot springs. I'm really determined to get there. And we're doing a half-marathon now in May so I have an intermediate goal to shoot for. So, that is going swimmingly, and I'm going to keep adding distance and do my very best to get in those all-important weekday shorter runs to keep my body accustomed to running.

Diet is not so great, largely because of (1) dates, (2) I don't feel like eating healthy food and (3) I haven't been good at getting up early, so packing lunch makes me late for class. I've been doing it anyway, but I hate being late for class - someone stole my seat the other day!

I'm going with the flow, trying not to get stressed, trying to feel in control of it all, and especially trying not to sweat the number on the scale (even though I'm doing the 3fatchicks.com Biggest Loser challenge so I have to weigh in every week and post it). Today I'm going to go for a run and then I have a date afterwards - drinks then a movie - and I'm going to come home and probably skip the party I was invited to so I can do some damn homework and get to bed at a reasonable hour. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow.

Less than 3 weeks until I go to Arizona (a school-related trip). If that's not an incentive to try and drop 10 lb so I can look cute in a tank top and jeans (and to buy a cute top or two for wearing out to a club) I just don't know what is.

How can this be?

How is it even possible that my worst-ever case of seasonal affective disorder is occurring on these few glorious days when it is over 60 degrees in January?!? Right now, it is (according to my computer) 66 degrees outside, sunny, gorgeous. I seriously could not get out of bed this morning. I felt like the whole world was pressing down on me. WTF?

Same deal yesterday, when I was cracked out and laid down at 11 am to take a nap, after finishing up Big Winter Break Project #2 (which was due a week ago). I slept until 4 pm, did not go on my scheduled run (the one I didn't do on Monday because I slept too late). And then I sat around all day, waiting for The Biggest Loser to come on. I did go buy textbooks and some veggies at the store (plus some other less healthy stuff), so it wasn't a total wash, but I still felt like a loser.

So, things are progressing very slowly, or maybe not at all. But I do have a few tricks up my sleeve to deal with the old SAD, as this is certainly not the first time I've gone through this. An everyday checklist of vitamins, coffee (or ginseng tea is even better), at least a little bit of cardio, st. john's wort, and putting on mascara to remind myself that I'm not a horrid snowbeast. These things do work when I can muster up the energy to do them. And if they don't fully fix the problem, I find an evening bubble bath with a glass of red wine will also perk me up. So far I've got the vitamins, coffee and st. john's wort going, so I just need to throw on a sports bra and clothes so that I will follow through on the working out. I MUST get in at least one outdoor jog in this gorgeous weather.

Also, I must go buy some fruit and veggies, and probably also some of my favorite cereal, to keep up with my diet. As soon as I run out of one thing, everything else goes to hell. This happened with the hummus I use for sandwiches and also the pears I usually have as my meal 2. So, must buy some more pears. I've been living on Trader Joe's meatless meatballs, with tomato sauce and peas - an easy and delicious, protein-eriffic 250ish calories.

I'm doing the 3fatchicks.com Biggest Loser challenge that starts at the end of this week, so I've got this idea in my head that I will kick things into high gear when Winter Break Project #3 is done and that starts, but since I've already entered my starting weight, it has technically already started. So, must get on that. I haven't been doing any exercise except running, but in the next few days I need to get back on the weightlifting and the cardio intervals (I use a stationary bike for this - it is the sweatiest, most red-faced embarrassing workout to do at the gym but it works like a charm). I am SO going to kick ass in this challenge. It kind of makes me wish I had fat friends to do weight loss competitions/collaboration with, but maybe having skinny friends makes me more motivated. Like they say, fat is contagious among friend groups. I totally believe that, since I am constantly rationalizing how much food I put in my mouth on the basis of how much people around me eat. Bad!

Major things to work on this week and even more so in the next few weeks when school starts: time management/scheduling, keeping my pantry stocked with on-plan food at ALL TIMES, and keeping that pesky winter depression crap under control.

I'm totally listening to Tropical Iceland right now.

It's one of the songs I listen to the most lately, mainly just because I have both versions (from Fiery Furnaces' EP and from Gallowsbird's Bark) on my itunes and because I put one of those on a mix I listen to tons lately.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post - the point is, I need to get on my time management. Funny for me to be saying that as I procrastinate by blogging and when I've been up for several hours and have done nothing but screw around online. But last night I stayed up until 4 doing my journal stuff, and then I couldn't sleep until like 6:30 (watched the Biggest Loser from last week that I had taped). And then, I slept until noon when a friend thankfully called and woke me up.

And now, it's after 3, which means that I don't really have enough time for my run before it gets dark (plus I don't really have a plan of where to do a 3-mi run outside; my fave Central Park route is 4, so I may end up just doing that). So, I'm putting it off until tomorrow. Which is ok, because that's what the weekend run is about, I can do it either day, and it's going to be warm tomorrow. But I have shizz to do, and I have plans tonight that involve drinking, which could make 3 miles less fun than today when I haven't had a drink in a couple days.

So, first step is changing out of PJs (yes at 3 pm), and doing some research for my paper. By tomorrow night I need to get journal assignment #2 out of the way, and I want to have also done some substantial research. And gotten my 3-miler in, and not eaten everything in sight after the party tonight. I am putting my foot down - no Chinese food, no Indian food, no chips & salsa. If I'm eating after the party tonight, it's going to be toast or something like that, that I already have in the house and that won't make me feel gross and fat in the morning.

See, it's all linked together. The level of organization in my apartment (not good), the procrastination (seriously bad), the diet (getting better but still needs work and commitment), and exercise (pretty good but clearly not on target yesterday or today). I need to get to point zero, where I feel like everything is ok and under control. I think I can do that in the next couple of days - it happened at the start of last semester, and it was awesome until I started skipping class 5 times a week to go have decadent interview lunches.... I need to stay on top of my school work and extracurriculars so that there doesn't come a time when I don't have enough spare time to grocery shop and work out. It's going to be tough because this semester is starting off so busy, but if I can make it work during moot court, then I can definitely keep it going once I get through that.

Down a few lb today, despite late-night eating (not that hi-cal, but salty). Hooray. It's got to be the kale and baked tofu - so tasty, high in fiber and super-nutritious. Tonight I've got a friend coming over and we'll either have brussels sprouts and tempeh or go to Chipotle. I'm generally in favor of not having to feed extra people since food is expensive, so Chipotle is pretty likely, or maybe we'll splurge and get Korean. We shall see - either way I think I can rein it in, plus I'll eat light during the day and have dinner once instead of twice. A girl's got to live, and my 3fatchicks.com challenge doesn't start until next week....

m1 (noon): kashi go-lean crunch, blueberries, coffee
m2 (2:30): pear, almonds
m3 (5): maybe some meatless meatballs and sauce, yum
m4 (7:30): probably veggie burrito or salad at Chipotle (don't eat that whole tortilla! it's 330 cal!)
m5: drinking and probably some toast with soy margarine (yum!) before bed